Thursday, January 1, 2009

Happy new 12-month period of time!

I just took my first run of 2009. I had my first coffee and visit to the cafe of 2009. And—like, ohmigosh—this is my first weblog entry of 2009!
Hip-hip-flippin'-hooray!
Seriously now? I think our obsession with "the new year" is the biggest bunch of malarkey known to mankind. Well, aside from socialism or MC Hammer pants, that is.
Think of time as a river. It flows throughout the universe in one inexorable, never-ending stream. Some metaphysicists think that there is no such thing as "the end of time." In fact, it is theorized by some that, due to alternate universes, time has no beginning and no end. Like space itself, it just is. (I'll leave it to Mr. Clinton to define that.)
So, if that's true, then what the hell is a "year?" Why, an arbitrary 12-month human demarcation of time, that's what. I can understand why we have 12-month years, 29- to 31-day months, 24-hour days and 60-second minutes. Humans have done their best to manage and define time, I'll give them credit for that.
If you want to get all excited by attaching a new number to that river of time, pretend that it's all fresh and new, and sing that hokey "Auld Lang Syne" with strangers, then by all means if it makes you happy.
The fact remains: Time has always been time, and human beings have always been completely irrational creatures. Can you tell me what the difference is? Why is the "new year" any different from the last year? Or the year before that? Or 1909 or 1809 or any other year you could mention?
Personally, I derive much more satisfaction from the fact that it's January. After all, winter can't end until you've gotten past its longest, darkest and coldest month. While it's still December, all you can think—well, all I can think—is, "Jeezus Gawd almighty, it's not even January yet!"
Well, now it is. A much better reason to celebrate.
Short of the sky turning bright green as opposed to light blue—which, I can already attest, it hasn't done—or a total sea-change in the way people think and act, I don't see any reason to be happy and excited about referring to the next four seasons as "2009." We all got excited about a number. I ask you, is that not ridiculous?

3 comments:

abel said...

Happy New Year!

goddessdivine said...

Classic dragon. Love it.

New Year's celebrations were exciting as a youth; now I really don't care. In fact, I spent it with the fam, who all went to bed early.

Happy New Year!

Pen to Paper said...

ridiculous, of course... but still fun.