Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Open letter to Lehman Bros. bankers:

Thanks, Lehman Bros., for the giant mess you've landed us into. You weren't the first, nor will you be the last. But, nevertheless, your demise is significant.
Naturally, you will be counting on the government to bail you out via the taxpayer, as with Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae, and just as we taxpayers of Britain are bailing out our own failure, Northern Rock. I don't see why a refuse collector should contribute more of his earnings to help keep you people in the champagne lifestyle to which you fast became accustomed. It'll still happen though. Amazing how closely capitalism mirrors communism when times like these pop up, eh?
I'd love to laugh at your expense, to see you greedbuckets strolling away from your desks for the last time, tails between your legs, fit only for the bread line. Welcome to the real world, gentlemen (and super ladies). Alas, it's not that simple, for we are all of us in this together. When you jumped off the cliff, you had millions of other people attached to your rope and now you've brought them right down with you.
It's not bad enough that you had to imperil your own families, but you just made life harder for every other family in America and across the world.
In the end, you stupid bastards just wouldn't learn. You kept borrowing from each other, trying to attain leverage that didn't exist. Worse yet, you told financial analysts and consumers alike, "don't worry, the word 'crash' does not exist in our vocabulary, because it can't happen. 1929 was a long time ago, folks. Pass the champagne."
Care to share any of that bubbly with your former customers and employers who trusted you? They'd throw it back in your face.
I know I would.

3 comments:

kristen said...

Jerks.

Oh, and I love how the gov is trying to bail some of them out. Yeah, thanks for wasting the tax dollars.

Beth said...

Yep, that's pretty much it.

East of Eden said...

I just want to know when we will see the heads of LBs on spikes at the city gates next to Ken Lay's and others of bankruptcies past?

Oh wait, that's not happening this time because the government is being stupid!