Saturday, April 25, 2009

(FW:) For the "eww, pets?" types

Normally, I am loathe to reprint e-mail forwards on this site; I don't like having something appear in this space that I myself didn't write. However, this is so brilliant that I had to publish it here. This is for all you people out there who can't understand why some folks, like Squirrel and I, prefer pets over children.

(1) They live here. You don't. (So shut the f*** up or get out!)
(2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'-niture.
(3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
(4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.
And remember, dogs, cats, birds or small animals are better than kids because they:
(1) eat less,
(2) don't ask for money all the time,
(3) are easier to train,
(4) normally come when called,
(5) never ask to drive the car,
(6) don't hang out with drug-users,
(7) don't smoke or drink,
(8) don't want to wear your clothes,
(9) don't have to buy the latest fashions,
(10) don't need a gazillion dollars for college and
(11) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children.


goddessdivine said...

I have to admit, I hate getting hair all over my clothes, and I hate it when peoples' ginormous dogs are in my face when I'm visiting. I generally like others' pets, just not the overbearing ones.

Nightdragon said...

Well, to tell you the truth, I don't really understand pet owners who allow the sofa to get all covered in fur. I keep a meticulously clean house myself, no pet hairs to be found anywhere -- except on the pets! I just thought I'd leave that bit in there, I liked the 'fur'-niture reference!