Monday, July 28, 2008

"That's life," alright!

I swear, I don't know whether to laugh or cry at some of the shit-headed stories I read in my wife's "chat" magazines. You know, the sort of publications whose headlines announce, "Mum Gives Miracle Virgin Birth To Triplets!" or "Why I Became a Dominatrix!"
I only read these risible things when I'm having a bath because my wife keeps them right by the tub. It's something to amuse me while I soak the day's sweat away, and it's better than watching a certain part of my anatomy just bob up and down in the water.
The particular magazine I was reading yesterday morning is entitled That's Life!, and there was a story in there about a British girl who married some loser from the Barbados and brought him to England with her. Soon after arriving, her exotic piece-of-ass starting assaulting and behaving threateningly toward her. Just your typical, bone-headed, "but I thought this was true love" type tales.
Nothing so unusual in that. Thousands of British girls fall in love with foreign skanks every year and bring them into an already overpopulated island to start a life together—only for the women to be beaten up or have all their money and assets stolen or whatever. As long as there are dumb and drunk British broads abroad, there will be stories like this one.
No, this is the matter that really threw me: Belinda, the girl who wrote the article, summed up her situation before marrying the scumbag from Barbados thusly: "As a single mum, I had to think carefully before letting any man into my life."
Charming. She's a single mother and she had to think carefully about letting any man into her life?! Well, I guess that explains why you're a single mum, huh? You stupid, stupid person! Honestly, it's little wonder she got fooled into romancing a psycho.
But alas, sadly, most people wouldn't have picked up on this glaring discrepancy the way I did.
As the magazine so adequately states, that's life!

1 comment:

kristen said...

I don't think she thought very carefully.

The world is full of idiots.