Monday, March 15, 2010

What've we got to fear from the Jihad Janes?

The title of the news article in this week's Sunday Times said it all: "Jihad Janes spread fear in suburban U.S."
It refers to those whackjobs of the "fairer" sex, Jamie Paulin-Ramirez and Colleen LaRose, who were both arrested for taking part in an Islamic fundamentalist conspiracy to kill the editorial cartoonist Lars Vilks. Vilks' supreme crime against mankind was to draw the prophet Muhammed's face on a dog's body for a cartoon in a Swedish newspaper.
Vilks has said of the threat he faces, "If anyone comes I will be able to fight for 30 minutes. I won't hesitate to use the axe if it is a life-or-death fight."
However, I don't think we necessarily have to fear legions of stay-at-home women bored with the daily litany of housework, game shows and grocery stores. Most of them are smart enough to drop chill pills and go to the park to feed pigeons and squirrels.
As for these sad-sack domestic terrorists: you know how to deal with them? Strip them of their citizenship. Now, don't get all Constitutionalist on me. They've obviously taken an oath against their country by committing themselves to the enemy cause. Then you lock them up in a mental institution for the rest of their lives, because it's obviously where they belong.
Of LaRose, a former boyfriend of hers said, "She was no rocket scientist." And how. The closest she ever intended to study jet propulsion theory was to strap TNT to herself and let the body parts fly.
Sue Myrick, a Republican member of the House Intelligence Committee, who said, "I think these [LaRose & Paulin-Ramirez] are just the tip of the iceberg ... [P]eople in this country are in denial. They don't want to admit what's happening and it scares me." No offense to Ms. Myrick, but I honestly don't think we're about to see hundreds of thousands of women across the country, coming out of the Al Qaeda-inspired on-line network like carpenter ants from the woodwork, swarming us with chants of "Allah akhbar!" (While, of course, demanding that we stop calling their kind terrorists.) It would make a cool zombie movie though. We could call it "Hassan of the Dead."

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