The lunatics are running the Republican asylum

Gotta love these Republican operatives who make those who dare to run for the party deliver a pledge of loyalty. Then, when the candidate whose feet they held to the fire proves the most popular, plot to steal the nomination away from him.
Erick Erickson, who clearly has a hate-on for one Mr. Donald J. Trump, has been at the forefront of efforts to thwart Trump's candidacy. Such a conservative purist is he! One wonders why a Tea Party stalwart would endorse Soviet/Cuban/Chinese-style methods of dealing with rogue elements within their little autocracy and informing voters that their efforts are all for naught.
Curley Haughland is a member of the Republican Rules Committee—a title that grows more ironic with every passing day given his spontaneous desire for a rule change to keep Trump from collecting the required 1,237 delegates. He recently informed all and sundry, through CNBC, that voters are deluded if they believe that they choose the nominee. When asked why we even bother to hold primaries in which people—gosh—vote, Haughland replied, "That's a very good question." Listen to the arrogant prick for yourselves, dear reader:

 

Republican Rules, alright? Who gives a stuff about the democratic process? Dumb, cheap-ass voters with their anti-Washington bigotry. As Al Gore would say, "How dare they?"
Then you have Erickson, the big shot himself, who is calling for a "unity party". Unity under whom? Paul Ryan? Mitt "Mittens" Romney? "Little" Marco Rubio? Erickson and his "Conservatives against Trump" group haven't endorsed Ted Cruz, so what's the story? I thought this was a struggle of conservatism versus nationalist populism.
You see, Erickson and his obtuse brigade of Tea Party doctrinaires are so damn conservative that they're fine with allowing the cop-bashing twerker John Kasich to remain in the race. I know Glenn Beck called the narcissistic Ohio governor a "son of a bitch," recently, which shows progress for someone I have generally regarded as a dolt. He, Merrick Garland, Peyton Manning and the former Speaker Bonehead could start the Crying Men of America club. But at least radio's most notorious weeper gets it with regard to Kasich, so credit where credit is due.
By the way, mes amis, you must read the following piece making Kasich out to be to the right of Attila the Hun. It's too hilarious. Only The Guardian could produce agitprop like this. Gee, could the reason that Kasich was elected in Ohio with Tea Party support in 2010 be ruffling the feathers of the Chicken Littles at The Guardian?
Yeah, we should trust the Tea Party over Donald Trump because they can lay claim to such a stellar backlog of has-beens that they've thrown their support behind: Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann, Nikki Haley, Marco Rubio and the aforementioned Kasich among them. Back in February, Tea Party of America founder Ken Crow, after flirting with Trump, dropped support for him by endorsing ... Jebito. Remember this time last year when the Republican rubes were saying that Señor Acts of Love and Valedictorians was the unstoppable unifier of the Grand Ol' Party? How'd that one work out for them? William Kristol may be willing to follow these pathetic dorks off a cliff, but I won't.
John Sununu—remember him, anyone?, anyone?—has said that Kasich can play a role in the northern states by acquiring delegates, thus preventing Trump from getting twelve-thirty-seven, and winning a brokered convention in Cleveland. Sununu, a neoconservative Chief of Staff under George Bush Sr., alleges that Trump has been "a loser his whole life". I don't know, dear reader, would saying that it takes one to know one in this case rub off as too callow? You tell me.
I will remind you that Sununu convinced H.W. to drop his "no new taxes" pledge, recommended David Souter to the Supreme Court and was urged to resign by Dubya who, at the time, was helping to run his father's reëlection campaign. Better look in the mirror for a scarlet L on your own forehead, Mr. Sununu, with all due respect—of which there is none.
Now there is speculation that the former Senator from Oklahoma Tom Coburn could jump in as an anti-Trump third party candidate. I like Mr. Coburn very much. He has been especially strong on the issue of illegal immigration. He is the author of a book entitled Breach of Trust, in which he details how Washington "turns outsiders into insiders". But he cannot win. No third-party candidate can. If we get this split between conservatives via a third party, Hilary will be our next Dear Leader. I would rather have Mr. Coburn, given his medical credentials, as the head of the Department of Health and Human Services in a Cruz or Trump administration.
And listen, Cruz supporters, you're not much better with all your talk about how you won't be able to bring yourself to vote for Trump if a contested convention does not come to fruition. Grow a pair or strap one on, and suck it up. Do you want a murderous lunatic like Mrs. Pantsuit in office? Seriously, grow up! Time to be big boys and girls, my little conservative purist petals! I don't give a damn about the "oh so nasty" language Trump has used, or what Roger Ailes's bitch-in-charge thinks, get over it already. Trump supporters have said they would vote for Cruz, so time to return the favor.
If Cruz cannot catch up to nor slim the margin between himself and Trump over the course of the remaining primaries by, at the most, the April 26th results, then he needs to end his campaign. That's all there is to it. It wasn't your time, Ted, but hey, what I wouldn't give to see you on SCOTUS.
As for you, Erick Erickson, as you are demonstrably not a stranger to comfort eating, then I suggest you get a nice, big box of Krispy Kremes or whatever the favored brand of fried dough rings in Macon, Georgia is, and tell yourself that all will be OK. Go shoot some more holes through copies of The New York Times and have some faith. With any luck, your clogged arteries will spare you the "affrontery" of a Donald Trump nomination before it comes to pass.