All *hands* on deck for the GOP

There should be an image of the Republican elephant in the dictionary next to the word "clueless".
The GOP Establishment is in a panic, dear reader. Their golden boy candidate, Jeb "Juan" Bush withdrew after not even Dubya could save his political skin. Really now. The man who essentially gave us Barry Hussein couldn't save Little Bro Jebito? What a shocker. Or, as we Bostonians say, "shock-aah".


  "Do I have to remind these people to clap again, shit, damn it!"  (Photo source: Getty)
Marco Rubio, who has proven to all and sundry that he considers fraternity-level obssessions with parts of the male anatomy valid talking points, only just squeaked by in Minnesota on Super Tuesday. Minnesota. The same state that elected Jesse Ventura as governor and Al Franken as Senator. Congratulations, Marco. You're still a putz. As Jeffrey Kuhner noted, the Establishment boot-lickers of FOX will be talking about Rubio's sole primary win until the year 2020.
The party of Abraham Lincoln—who is surely rolling in his grave, poor fellow—is unsure about John Kasich. Sure, he may win Ohio. He is still on-stage at the debates to be the voice of reason, i.e. "can't we all get along?" Of course, with Trump and Rubio constantly trading jibes, encouraged by the Chris Matthews', Jake Tappers, Meggyn Kellys and other assorted jo-whore-nalists—to borrow Jay Severin's brilliant description of them—Kasich would look presidential. Having said that, at least the Trumpster had the good sense to congratulate Ted Cruz on his Super Tuesday wins, a sign that he may finally be ready to bury the hatchet.
Now who's the knight-in-shining-armor that the Republican higher-ups believe they've found to "rescue" the party from the Donald via a brokered convention? Mitt "the Squish" Romney. I wish I was kidding as well, mes amis.
It's not enough that a cretinous contingent of Tea Party conservatives think Sarah Palin is still valid (or anything approaching intelligent), but now we have the analingus providers to the illegal alien-worshipping, country-club phony capitalists of the dark Washington underworld rolling out Romney again. I have got news for the wingnuts and the wimps: I do not have fond memories of 2008 or 2012. They were, in fact, Geneva Convention-defyingly painful.
Are the people in the GOP hierarchy truly this numbskulled? Is every one of them a participant in a contest to see who can beat John Boehner's bar tab record? At least that would explain things to some degree of clarity, because nothing else suffices to justify this capitulation. They make Trump pledge to remain in the Republican party, but then threaten to go third party themselves when he looks more and more like the nominee. Give them credit. They know how to define chutzpah.
Back to Romney who declared, "Mr. Trump is directing our anger for less than noble purposes. He creates scapegoats of Muslims and Mexican immigrants, he calls for the use of torture and for killing the innocent children and family members of terrorists. He cheers assaults on protesters. He applauds the prospect of twisting the Constitution to limit first amendment freedom of the press. This is the very brand of anger that has led other nations into the abyss."
Mitt, with all due respect, sit down and shut up. You're a loser. You're a loser because you don't have any fight and your only political title will remain "Governor". You had a chance to destroy Obama on his first-term failures and you did not deliver. You couldn't chew him up the way you did Matt Amorello. What gives? I'd rather hang upside down from a 1,000-foot crane while fighting a severe flu than endorse you for local sewer inspector, a job you appear to want very badly.
Mr. Romney, you're chasing shadows of jealousy. You're a flickering candle next to the robust, roaring fire that is Donald Trump. You've got millions; he's got billions. He controls his own destiny; you've always been a shill. Trump answers to no-one; you're the Establishment's ho'.
Sports Authority, a Bain Capital refugee, declared Chapter 11 bankruptcy on the same day that Romney delivered his put-down of Trump. Is all this satire on your part, Mitt? I promise to laugh appreciatively.
Notice how the Trump-haters and Cruz-bashers of the party suck-ups—Bob Dole, Karl Rove, Lindsey Graham, the Bushes, Mitt Romney—have, to date, after seven years of a feckless, lawless, contemptuous President, said nothing scathing about Obama as they have the undisputed leaders of the pack for the Republican nomination.
Barry O. has ruled by executive fiat, incited mob rule and poisoned every government institution in the rapidly fading republic that is America. Crickets. A Constitutional conservative or a populist-nationalist who wants to return the greatness to America so much as belches or scratches his crotch, everyone gets the screaming abdabs.
Hilary Clinton, as Secretary of State, set the Middle East on fire, conducted dubious business involving national secrets with rogue regimes on a private server, and retired for the night while an American ambassador, diplomat and two CIA contractors, brave men all, got slaughtered, knowing full well that their lives were in danger. Yet Trump is a raving lunatic and Cruz a creep while this corrupt harridan steals delegates from her rival in her attempt to coöpt the Oval Office.
The Establishment and Roger Ailes's media fools who skip to their tune try to convince us that the answer to a world made extremely dangerous due to nearly a decade's worth of liberal appeasement is a guy who makes snide remarks about a competitor's hands.
Golly gee, that's genius for you, folks.